Just Jokes Online

A man walks into a a bar, drinks a couple of beers, and prepares to leave. The bartender tells him he owes £8.

“But I already paid you. Don’t you remember?” says the customer.

“OK,” says the bartender, “if you say you paid, then I suppose you did.”

The man goes outside and tells the first person he sees that the bartender can’t keep track of whether his customers have paid or not. The second man rushes in, orders a couple beers, and later pulls the same stunt. Read the full post

A guy walks into a bar.

He asks the bartender for a shot of vodka.

The bartender asks “Why?” The guy responds and says “I just had my first blowjob.”

The bartender says “In that case I’ll give you two shots of vodka.”

The guy says “No, I just want one to get the taste out of my mouth.”

A man went into a bar and ordered several shots of vodka. By the time the bar was closing, he was wasted. He got up to leave and fell flat on his face. “Well, I don’t want the bartender to think I’m drunk, so I’ll pretend I tripped and I’ll try it again.” So he gets up and falls on his face.

“Well, the door’s not too far away; I’ll just crawl.” When he gets outside he thinks, “Well, I only live four blocks away; I can make it that far.” Read the full post