A Man Goes In To A Bar
One night, a drunk comes stumbling into a bar and says to the bartender: “Drinks for all on me including you, bartender.” So the bartender follows the mans orders and says: “That will be $36.50 please.” The drunk says he has no money so the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.
A man walks into a bar with a cheese sandwich under his arm. “A pint of Guinness for me and the cheese sandwich,” he says to the barman.
After a heavy night of drinking at the local bar, a drunk stumbles into a Catholic church and slowly makes his way into the confessional booth. There, the priest patiently awaits the man to begin his confession.
A man walks into a bar and asks, “Got any grapes?”
The bartender, confused, tells the man no. The man thanks him and leaves.
The next day, the man returns and asks, “Got any grapes?”
Again, the bartender tells him, “No — the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes and, furthermore, will never serve grapes.” The man thanks him and leaves.
A man walks into a bar and orders three beers.
The bartender brings him the three beers, and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third, until they’re gone.
He then orders three more and the bartender says, “Sir, I know you like them cold, so you can start with one, and I’ll bring you a fresh one as soon as you’re low.”
This is one of those jokes that make you go “Eewwww!”
An ugly old man walks into a bar with a big smile on his face. The bartender asks him what he’s got to be so happy about. He says “I was walking home last night when I noticed a girl tied to the rail tracks just like in the movies. So I set her free, one thing led to another and she came back to my place. We rocked the house, doing anything you’d imagine and a few things you wouldn’t. It was the best night of my night.”
Chelsea News