Just Jokes Online

A good looking man walked into an agent’s office in Hollywood and said ‘I want to be a movie star.’

Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had the right credentials. The agent asked, ‘What’s your name?’

The guy said, ‘My name is Penis van Lesbian.’

The agent said, ‘Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into Hollywood , you are going to have to change your name.’ Read the full post

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don’t do it!” He said, “Nobody loves me.” I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?”

He said, “Yes.” I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?” He said, “A Christian.” I said, “Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?” He said, “Protestant.” I said, “Me, too! What franchise?” He said, “Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?” He said, “Northern Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?” Read the full post

There was this preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he could be found on the golf course swinging away. It was an obsession. One Sunday was a picture perfect day for golfing. The sun was out, no clouds in the sky, and the temperature was just right. Read the full post

Little Johnny was planning on getting lots of preasents for Christmas. He knew that god had a connection to the North Pole, and stood up and started to pray.
“God, i have been a child of perfection this year. I think i should get lots of preasents… no that won’t work.”
He got on his knees.
“God, I haven’t been the best child since last December. I still deserve lots of preasents for my efforts… no that can’t work either!”
He laid face down on the floor. Read the full post

Three Egyptian fans moaning about their latest defeat by Algeria.

First fan: “I blame the Sudanese. How could they support Algeria instead of us?!”
Second fan: “I blame the players; if they had made more effort, I’m sure they would have scored goals.”
Third fan: “I blame my parents; if I had been born in Algeria, I’d be celebrating now.”

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