Just Jokes Online

This boy has just taken his girlfriend back to her home after being out together, and when they reach the front door he leans with one hand on the wall and says to her, “Sweetie, why don’t you give me a blowjob?”

“What? You’re crazy!” she said.

“Look, don’t worry,” he said. “It will be quick, I promise you.”

“Nooooooo! Someone may see us, a neighbor, anybody…”

“At this time of the night no one will show up. Come on, sweetie, I really need it.” Read the full post

A 13 year old boy came home all happy.
His mom asked, “what did you do at school today hunny?”
“Oh i had sex with my teacher,” he said calmly.
The mother began to scream and yell and sent him to his room till his father got home.
When the father came home the mother said distroutly and close to tears, “Go talk to your son…he had sex with his teacher today!!!!!!!!!”
The dad with the BIG grin on his face walked upstairs.
He asked his son what happened at school and the son told him.
The dad said, “son im so proud of u im going to get you that bike you have wanted.”
They go out and buy the bike and the dad asked him if he wanted to ride it home and the son replied,
“Nah dad my bum is still sore.” Read the full post

A young guy was complaining to his Boss about the problems he was having with his stubborn girlfriend.

“She gets me so angry sometimes I could hit her, the young man exclaimed.”

“Well, I’ll tell you what I used to do with my wife” replied the Boss. “Whenever she got out of hand I’d take her pants down and spank her”.

Shaking his head the young guy replied “I’ve tried that… it doesn’t work for me. Once I get her pants down I’m not mad anymore.” Read the full post

Amanda wants to break up with her boyfriend John, who is a soldier stationed in the Far East for over a year now.

She writes him a letter: “Dear John, because you are so far away for so long now, I want to end our relationship. I must also admit that I have cheated on you twice. Would you please send my photograph back? Love Amanda” Read the full post

WICHITA, Kan. – Authorities are considering charges in the bizarre case of a woman who stayed in her boyfriend’s bathroom for two years, spending most of her time on the toilet — so that her body was stuck to the seat by the time the man finally called police.

It appeared the 35-year-old Ness City woman’s skin had grown around the seat, said Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple. The woman initially refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital. Read the full post

This was a real “personal ad” in the American journal “Craigs List”

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown  Savannah  night before last.

Date: 2009-05-27,

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend’s purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message. Read the full post

Here is a potential killer, take care!!

Victim: Male, Caucasian

Death: Instantaneous, Penetration of the Arterial Chamber

Description of Murder Weapon: Sharp Instrument, 4”

Type: Stiletto

Colour: Red

Maker: Mahlono Blahnik

Motive: Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned

So guys, the next time you’re ogling the sexy long legs of a sweet young thing, remember the shoes on her feet can double as weapons. And if she doesn’t like the attention, it could be your eyeballs that get it. Read the full post

Tiim wanted to screw a girl in his office but she belonged to someone else. One day Tiim got so frustrated that he went up to her and said I’ll give you a 1000 dollars if you let me screw you but the girl said NO.

Tiim said “I’ll be fast, I’ll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, I’ll be finished by the time you pick it up”. Read the full post