So this little ant was walking through the jungle and came across this big female elephant in agony. The elephant had one foot up in the air “woe is me” “woe is me.
So the ant asks the elephant what seems to be the problem here?
The elephant replied I seemed to have gotten a thorn stuck in my foot and it is hurts like hell. I would give anything to get it out.
One day I waltzed into a Florida mall and came upon a live demonstration by a snake handler who was entertaining a couple hundred shoppers. He initially played with the crowd by hanging several harmless varieties of reptiles off of his limbs like ornaments on a tree. This rather odd soul flung snakes around all over the stage area, jerked and stumbled into things, cackled maniacally, and cracked one-liners about how nervous this work made him after all these years, having been bitten numerous times by deadly reptiles because of his jumpy and accident-prone nature. I noticed those on the front row step back a bit, especially when he informed them that he was now going to transition to the venomous category. Further apprehension seized everyone when he approached an ominous black box and seemed to insert his hand rather cavalierly into the dark space. Whatever was in there must have taken affront and lunged at his obtrusive hand because he catapulted backwards and nearly off the stage when he jerked his hand away like a bolt of lightning. Tense murmurs of concern ascended from the crowd, and they stepped back again. I could feel the hair on the back of my neck rise. I shifted my feet and looked around at others to see if anyone was as anxious as I had become. People were gazing all about them shaking their heads and lifting their eyebrows. Some bozo behind me had a kid with a balloon that grazed my bare arm and the hair that was standing erect on it. Startled by the thought of a snake touching me, I blasted out a terror scream into the ears of the old man in front of me and at the same time grabbed his shoulders as if I had been in the dark with Dracula. He was nearly seized with a heart attack and immediately recalled a frequently-rehearsed combination of curse words with a distinct reference to a relationship I had with my mother. This snake handler had the whole crowd on edge.
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