A mother is with her 5 year old boy at the zoo when they reach the
elephant cage.
The 5 year old boy looks with amazement at the large beast and says
to his Mom, “What’s that long thing hanging down from the elephant?”
Mom replies “That’s his trunk.”
The boy goes, “I know that! No, what’s that big thing hanging down
in between the trunk and tail.”
What do you do when an elephant is having its periods?
Hide all the mattresses.
How does an elephant cry
Sits on its bum and bawls.
What does an elephant use for tampons?
Sheep.
How does an elephant fuck a mouse?
Stands on it.
Why have elephants got four feet?
Six inches isn’t enough.
Why does an elephant wear condoms on its feet?
Because if it stands on you, you’re fucked.
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?
It’s Christmas, Eve !
What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month ?
The letter “D” !
Why does Father Christmas go down the chimney ?
Because it soots him !
Who delievers elephants’s Christmas presents?
Elephanta Claus !
What do monkeys sing at Christmas ?
Jungle Bells, Jungle bells.. !
Chelsea News