Just Jokes Online

This boy has just taken his girlfriend back to her home after being out together, and when they reach the front door he leans with one hand on the wall and says to her, “Sweetie, why don’t you give me a blowjob?”

“What? You’re crazy!” she said.

“Look, don’t worry,” he said. “It will be quick, I promise you.”

“Nooooooo! Someone may see us, a neighbor, anybody…”

“At this time of the night no one will show up. Come on, sweetie, I really need it.” Read the full post

A 13 year old boy came home all happy.
His mom asked, “what did you do at school today hunny?”
“Oh i had sex with my teacher,” he said calmly.
The mother began to scream and yell and sent him to his room till his father got home.
When the father came home the mother said distroutly and close to tears, “Go talk to your son…he had sex with his teacher today!!!!!!!!!”
The dad with the BIG grin on his face walked upstairs.
He asked his son what happened at school and the son told him.
The dad said, “son im so proud of u im going to get you that bike you have wanted.”
They go out and buy the bike and the dad asked him if he wanted to ride it home and the son replied,
“Nah dad my bum is still sore.” Read the full post

A psychiatrist visited a California mental institution and asked a patient, “How did you get here? What was the nature of your illness?” He got the following reply.

“Well, it all started when I got married and I guess I should never have done it. I married a widow with a grown daughter who then became my stepdaughter. Read the full post

A mother is with her 5 year old boy at the zoo when they reach the
elephant cage.

The 5 year old boy looks with amazement at the large beast and says
to his Mom, “What’s that long thing hanging down from the elephant?”

Mom replies “That’s his trunk.”

The boy goes, “I know that! No, what’s that big thing hanging down
in between the trunk and tail.” Read the full post

On a highway, a pornstar and her manager are arguing in their car. The pornstar, in frustration with her manager, throws a huge dildo out the car window.

Driving behind the arguing couple is a man and his little daughter. The dildo hits the front windshield and flies off. The girl says, “What was that!”

The dad, not wanting to expose his daughter to such things at her young age, says, “Uhh. It was a bug.” Read the full post

No-one likes to see such a great club like Liverpool down and out, and fighting for a place in the Europa League next season (Well maybe a few Everton and Man Utd supporters do!) So obviously we don’t like to see Rafael Benitez in such a bad state, and we won’t be taking advantage of their situation, will we? OH YES WE WILL!

Have a few very funny Liverpool jokes, and try not to laugh too much LOL!

————————————————————————————- Read the full post

An Irishman named O’Malley went to his doctor after a long illness.

The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Paddy in the eye, and said, “I’ve some bad news for you.

“You have cancer, and it can’t be cured. I’d give you two weeks to a month to live.” Read the full post

A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see that his bed
was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope,
propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to ‘Dad.’ With
the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and
read the letter.

Dear Dad:

A good selection of Tottenham jokes here! I’ll post some more when i get another batch…..

——————————————————————————-

Why do Tottenham fans carry lighters round with them?

Because they lose all their matches!

___________________________________________________________

What is the difference between Tottenham and a tea bag?

The tea bag stays in the cup longer!

___________________________________________________________

What ship will never go to Tottenham?

The Premiership.

___________________________________________________________ Read the full post