Just Jokes Online

Dave walks into the bar and sees his mate Jeff huddled on the bar, depressed. Dave walks over and asks Jeff what’s wrong.

“Well,” replies Jeff, “You know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got a hard on every time I saw her?”

“Yes,” replies Dave with a smile.

“Well,” says Jeff, straightening up, “I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed.” Read the full post

“A woman and her sister were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As they were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if they needed any help. The woman replied, “No, I’m just looking at your nuts.” The sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and she turned beet red and walked away.” “A lady picked up several items at a discount store. Read the full post

Ronaldo, Luis Figo and Wayne Rooney are standing before God at the throne of Heaven.

God looks at them and says; “before granting you a place at my side, I must first ask you what you believe in.”

Addressing Ronaldo first he asks, “what do you believe?”

Ronaldo looks God in the eye and states passionately, “I believe Football to be the food of life. Nothing else brings such unbridled joy to so many people from the slums of Lisbon to the bright lights of Porto . I have devoted my life to bring such joy to people who stood on the terraces supporting their club.” Read the full post