Just Jokes Online

The Best Anti-Man Utd Football Jokes!

Top tip for Manchester United fans: don’t waste money on expensive new kits every season. Simply strap a large inflatable penis to your forehead, and everyone will immediately know which team you support.
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Q. What do you get if you see a Manchester United fan buried up to his neck in sand?

A. More sand.
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Q. How many Manchester United fans does it take to change a light bulb? Read the full post

There was this group of people travelling around London on a tour-bus. Because it was raining the guide on the bus decided to liven things up, and asked if anyone on the bus could tell the rest a joke.

Straight away an Englishman got up and said that he could tell a good Irish joke.

Suddenly a bloke in the back of the bus said, “No, don’t do that. I’m Irish! Read the full post

We all like a few Tottenham jokes now and again, and I have discovered a few really good ones. This first one really tickled my fancy and persuaded me to find some more to follow it up.

Enjoy!
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Q: How many Tottenham fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None…… there all content with living in the shadows!
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A man goes into a pub with an alligator under his arm. Read the full post

There’s something regarding bars with drunkards that appear to be the most common cause of jokes. Everyone has found out a funny story that begins “A chap walks into a bar” (and says Ouch!) and there is no doubt that drunks are usually extremely entertaining. So listed below are a couple of pub jokes that you may not have heard previously, however they really are all awfully witty, I assure you! Read the full post

A man walks up to the barman and says, “Do you see that glass over there in the corner? I’ll bet you £50 that I can piss in it from here!” The bartender agrees, because the glass is miles way over on the other side of the bar. So the man unzips and whips it out, then pisses in a million different directions, coming nowhere even close to the shot glass. Meanwhile the bartender’s laughing so hard he can barely breathe. Read the full post

Three Egyptian fans moaning about their latest defeat by Algeria.

First fan: “I blame the Sudanese. How could they support Algeria instead of us?!”
Second fan: “I blame the players; if they had made more effort, I’m sure they would have scored goals.”
Third fan: “I blame my parents; if I had been born in Algeria, I’d be celebrating now.”

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