Just Jokes Online

Paul played football with his mates every Sunday afternoon in the local park. His right knee had been giving him trouble for some time, but recently the pain had been even worse than usual so he decided to see the doctor.

When he arrived at the surgery, the nurse told him he could see the doctor in 15 minutes but first he would have to give a urine sample. Paul said that it seemed crazy to give a urine sample to help solve his knee problem. However the nurse insisted, so eventually Paul complied. A quarter of an hour later he was ushered in to see the doctor. Read the full post

A man goes to the doctor for his wife’s test results.

Mr Smith : “I’m here for Mrs Smith’s test results.”

Receptionist : “Oh, I’m sorry Mr Smith, there’s been a problem. We have two sets of test results for a Mrs Smith and we don’t know which belongs to your wife….. I’m afraid it’s bad news or terrible news. One test shows Alzheimer’s Disease, the other shows Aids!” Read the full post

The mule

A city boy, named Kenny, moved to the country and bought a mule from an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day.

The next day the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the mule died.”

Kenny replied, “Well, then, just give me my money back.”

The farmer said, “Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.” Read the full post

A golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him.

“I have some good news and some bad news.” says the surgeon. “The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!”

“Oh god no!” cries the man. “My golfing is over! Please Doc, what’s the good news?” Read the full post

An Irishman named O’Malley went to his doctor after a long illness.

The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Paddy in the eye, and said, “I’ve some bad news for you.

“You have cancer, and it can’t be cured. I’d give you two weeks to a month to live.” Read the full post

Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool , Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.

He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Read the full post