The police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday. The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop.
Did you ever experience sitting at a bar stool with your close friend, trying to enjoy a glass of wine, only to get interrupted by somebody’s crazy albeit embarrassingly funny story? Did you ever get hit on in the most repulsive way possible while trying to sit at a bar alone and in peace? Well many things happen in bars, some appropriate, and others the very opposite. Some phrases are said that should never be heard and some stories are shared that should never be revealed. Some overhead things are so crazy, that you can’t help but look over your shoulder. Here are some of the worst phrases to hear or overhear at a bar.
Jack Nicklaus and Stevie Wonder are drinking in a bar. Nicklaus turns to Wonder and says: “How is your record business going?”
“Not too bad, the latest album has gone into the top 10, so all in all I think it is pretty good. By the way, how’s the golf?” Stevie Wonder says.
“Not too bad, I’m not winning as much as I used to but I’m still making a bit of money. I have had some problems with my swing but I think I’ve got that under control now.” Nicklaus replies.
When most people think of love poems, they think of serious and soulful expressions of passion. Long sonnets by Shakespeare or romantic poems by Browning and Lord Byron are the norm for love poetry. However, funny love poems can be good for a laugh. They may not be romantic, but they do give your friends something to enjoy.
Some of the best funny love poems are limericks. Limericks started in Ireland and follow a standard form of five lines and a rhyme scheme of aabba. Here are a few limericks written by anonymous authors:
Brandon and Wesley are playing golf at their favorite course, but on every hole they are being held up by a twosome of women who are always half a hole ahead.
The women are great golfers, but they are playing terribly slow. Finally, after watching the women in the distance as they stood over their putts for what seemed like an eternity, Wesley decided to do something.
A Chinese man called Mr Bi has trained his cat to use his toilet. He spent seven years inventing the gadgets that allow his pet to flush away her mess. He now plans to sell his contraption to other cat owners.
| Adventure Cat |
a joke:
There was this preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he could be found on the golf course swinging away. It was an obsession. One Sunday was a picture perfect day for golfing. The sun was out, no clouds in the sky, and the temperature was just right.
Here’s a golf joke.Let you laugh,let you relax.
It was a sunny Saturday morning, a little before 8 a.m., I was on the first hole at The Oaks of St. George Golf Club and beginning my pre-shot routine, when a piercing voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker:
“Would the gentleman on the woman’s tee back up to the men’s tee please!”
I could feel every eye on the course looking at me. I was still deep in my routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption.
Sometimes people want to be alone to do their own thing. One’s individuality should not be compromised by anyone else and it’s important to have your own personal bubble. No matter where you go and what you feel, there are some things that us as human beings just need to do behind the scenes. Whether that be picking our nose or picking our out our grundies, some things are better left to the unknown. Here is a list of things mostly everyone does when nobody is watching, or at least should.
Some things in life should just be button activated. Let’s face it; there are some things that would just be cooler if they were able to be made to work by simply pressing a button. No matter what you are doing, driving or turning on, a great button just looks so much cooler.
Chelsea News