My good wife – and a goalkeeper joke
My good wife
Bill and Shirly are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.
“Shirly, I was wondering — have you ever cheated on me?”
“Oh Bill, why would you ask such a question now? You don’t want to ask that question…”
“Yes, Shirly, I really want to know. Please.”
“Well, all right. Yes, 3 times.”
“Three? When were they?”
“Well, Bill, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan? Remember how one day the bank president himself came over to the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?”
“Oh, Shirly, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, that you would do such a thing for me! So, when was number 2?”
“Well, Bill, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you? Remember how Dr. Johnson came all the way up here, to do the surgery himself, and then you were in good shape again?”
“I can’t believe it! Shirly, I love that you should do such a thing for me, to save my life! I couldn’t have a more wonderful wife. To do such a thing, you must really love me darling. I couldn’t be more moved. When was number 3?”
“Well, Bill, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 15 votes short?”
goalkeeper joke
One day a goalkeeper was walking down the street when he heard cries and screams, he looked up and saw that a building was on fire, and there was a woman with a baby crying for help. A large crowd grew below.
She screamed down for someone to catch her baby, but no-one felt confident of catching such a young life from a great height like that.
The goalkeeper stepped forward and shouted “DON’T WORRY, I WILL CATCH YOUR BABY. I AM A PROFESSIONAL GOALKEEPER”.
She replied by saying :”TREAT HER AS IF YOU WERE ABOUT TO CATCH A BALL” .
So the keeper lined himself up and the baby was dropped.
Silence………
There came shouts and cheers as the keeper caught the baby! Next he bounced the baby twice on the floor and kicked it 50 yards down the street………
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