Just Jokes Online

Two priests are in a Vatican bathroom having a pee at the same time.

One of them looks at the other one’s penis and notices there’s a Nicotine patch on it.

He looks at the other priest and says, “I believe you’re supposed to put that patch on your arm or shoulder, not your penis.”

The other one replies, ‘It’s working just fine……”
…
….
…
wait for it…
…

“I’m down to two butts a day.”

A pregnant woman was at the hospital giving birth to her baby. The delivery was almost complete, and at long last, the doctor held up the newborn, cut the umbilical cord, and took a moment to look the baby over. Then without missing a beat, the doctor threw the child against a nearby wall with all of his might. The mother watched in shock as the baby slid to the floor with a sickening thud. Read the full post

Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool , Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.

He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Read the full post

Two young brothers are opening presents at Christmas.
The younger brother has twenty massive presents and the older one only has one little one.

The younger brother says to the older one, “Haha, I have got twenty presents you only got one you loser!”
The older brother replies “Haha you smart ass, you are dying of cancer!.”

Tiim wanted to screw a girl in his office but she belonged to someone else. One day Tiim got so frustrated that he went up to her and said I’ll give you a 1000 dollars if you let me screw you but the girl said NO.

Tiim said “I’ll be fast, I’ll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, I’ll be finished by the time you pick it up”. Read the full post

This is one of those jokes that make you go “Eewwww!”

An ugly old man walks into a bar with a big smile on his face. The bartender asks him what he’s got to be so happy about. He says “I was walking home last night when I noticed a girl tied to the rail tracks just like in the movies. So I set her free, one thing led to another and she came back to my place. We rocked the house, doing anything you’d imagine and a few things you wouldn’t. It was the best night of my night.” Read the full post