A woman taking golf lessons just started her 1st round but was stung by a bee!
She raced to the clubhouse and her golfing coach asked why she was back so soon. She told him of the sting.
“Where did it sting you?” he asked.
“Between the 1st and 2nd hole” she replied.
He nodded and said. “Then your feet are too far apart!”.
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes.”
The woman freed the frog and the frog said, “Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes-that whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!”
Take 5
Then there’s the one about the golfer and his caddie who enjoyed a good argument, especially about what clubs to use. The caddie usually won but this day, faced with a long short hole, the golfer decided that a 3-iron would be best.
“Take a 5 wood ,” growled the caddie. But the golfer stuck to his choice and the caddie watched gloomily as the ball sailed over the fairway, landed neatly on the green and rolled politely into the hole.
Four happily married men went golfing one weekend.
After the game they met up in the bar for a beer, and the First man said: “You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend… I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.
Second man : “That’s nothing; I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool.
A golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him.
“I have some good news and some bad news.” says the surgeon. “The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!”
“Oh god no!” cries the man. “My golfing is over! Please Doc, what’s the good news?”
A fellow is getting ready to tee-off on the first hole when a second fellow approaches and asks if he can join him. The first says that he usually plays alone but agrees to let the second guy join him. Both are even after the first couple of holes.
The second guy says, “Say, we’re about evenly matched, how about we play for five bucks a hole?”
A man and his wife walked into a dentist’s office.
The man said to the dentist, “Look Doc, I’m in one hell of A hurry. I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anesthetic and just pull the tooth and be done with it.
“We have a 10:00 AM tee time at the best golf course In town and it’s 9:30 already. I don’t have time to wait For the anesthetic to work!”
Jack Nicklaus and Stevie Wonder are drinking in a bar. Nicklaus turns to Wonder and says: “How is your record business going?”
“Not too bad, the latest album has gone into the top 10, so all in all I think it is pretty good. By the way, how’s the golf?” Stevie Wonder says.
“Not too bad, I’m not winning as much as I used to but I’m still making a bit of money. I have had some problems with my swing but I think I’ve got that under control now.” Nicklaus replies.
Brandon and Wesley are playing golf at their favorite course, but on every hole they are being held up by a twosome of women who are always half a hole ahead.
The women are great golfers, but they are playing terribly slow. Finally, after watching the women in the distance as they stood over their putts for what seemed like an eternity, Wesley decided to do something.
Four lawyers in a law firm lived and died for their Saturday morning round of golf. It was their favorite moment of the week.
Then one of the lawyers was transferred to an office in another city. It wasn’t quite the same without him.
A new woman lawyer joined their law firm. One day she overheard the remaining three talking about their golf round at the coffee table.
Chelsea News