Just Jokes Online

Four happily married men went golfing one weekend.

After the game they met up in the bar for a beer, and the First man said: “You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend… I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.

Second man : “That’s nothing; I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool. Read the full post

A golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him.

“I have some good news and some bad news.” says the surgeon. “The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!”

“Oh god no!” cries the man. “My golfing is over! Please Doc, what’s the good news?” Read the full post

A fellow is getting ready to tee-off on the first hole when a second fellow approaches and asks if he can join him. The first says that he usually plays alone but agrees to let the second guy join him. Both are even after the first couple of holes.

The second guy says, “Say, we’re about evenly matched, how about we play for five bucks a hole?” Read the full post

A man and his wife walked into a dentist’s office.

The man said to the dentist, “Look Doc, I’m in one hell of A hurry. I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anesthetic and just pull the tooth and be done with it.

“We have a 10:00 AM tee time at the best golf course In town and it’s 9:30 already. I don’t have time to wait For the anesthetic to work!” Read the full post

Jack Nicklaus and Stevie Wonder are drinking in a bar. Nicklaus turns to Wonder and says: “How is your record business going?”

“Not too bad, the latest album has gone into the top 10, so all in all I think it is pretty good. By the way, how’s the golf?” Stevie Wonder says.

“Not too bad, I’m not winning as much as I used to but I’m still making a bit of money. I have had some problems with my swing but I think I’ve got that under control now.” Nicklaus replies. Read the full post

Brandon and Wesley are playing golf at their favorite course, but on every hole they are being held up by a twosome of women who are always half a hole ahead.

The women are great golfers, but they are playing terribly slow. Finally, after watching the women in the distance as they stood over their putts for what seemed like an eternity, Wesley decided to do something. Read the full post

| Great Woman Golfer|

Four lawyers in a law firm lived and died for their Saturday morning round of golf. It was their favorite moment of the week.

Then one of the lawyers was transferred to an office in another city. It wasn’t quite the same without him.

A new woman lawyer joined their law firm. One day she overheard the remaining three talking about their golf round at the coffee table. Read the full post

* What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

* Ping just offered Elin Woods (Tiger’s wife) an endorsement contract pushing her own set of drivers. They are said to be named Elin Woods…”clubs you can beat Tiger with.”

* News travels fast. The Chinese are already making a movie about Tiger Woods’ crash. They are calling it, “Scratching Swede, Lying Tiger,” or how about “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant”? Read the full post

I don’t know who spends their time making these things up, but they are funny!

Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
Tiger Woods came a flyin’, chased by his spouse..

She wielded a nine iron and wasn’t too merry,
Cause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry.

He’d been cheatin’ on Elin, and the story progressed.
Woman after woman stepped up and confessed. Read the full post

Here is a potential killer, take care!!

Victim: Male, Caucasian

Death: Instantaneous, Penetration of the Arterial Chamber

Description of Murder Weapon: Sharp Instrument, 4”

Type: Stiletto

Colour: Red

Maker: Mahlono Blahnik

Motive: Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned

So guys, the next time you’re ogling the sexy long legs of a sweet young thing, remember the shoes on her feet can double as weapons. And if she doesn’t like the attention, it could be your eyeballs that get it. Read the full post