Just Jokes Online

Q: Why do West Ham fans carry lighters round with them?

A: Because they lose all their matches!

Q: What have Tottenham Hotspurs and a three pin plug got in common?

A: They’re both absolutely useless in Europe.

A wee fella hands over a £50 note to the turnstyle operator at St James Park
Fella: Two please.
Turnstile Operator: Will that be defenders or strikers, sir?

Q: What do Aston Villa fans use as birth control? Read the full post

Roy Hogson: “Our new Winger cost five million. I call him our wonder player”
Sir Alex Ferguson: “Why’s that?
Roy Hogson “Everytime he plays I wonder why I bothered to buy him!”

Q: How many Liverpool fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Yeah, as if they have electricity in Liverpool…

Q: What’s is the difference between Pamela Anderson and the Liverpool goal?
A: Pam’s only got two tits in front of her Read the full post

Apparently, when Peter Beardsley was born he was such an ugly baby that his parents didn’t know whether to put him in a carry cot or a cage!

Q: Why do so many housewives love Newcastle?
A: Cos they stay on top for ages and then come second.

Q: What is black and white, black and white and black and white ?
A: A Newcastle fan rolling down a hill Read the full post

Q: What’s the difference between West Ham’s goalkeeper and a taxi driver?
A: The taxi driver will only let four in!

Q. What’s the difference between West ham and a teabag?
A. A teabag stays in the cup longer.

Q: Whats the worst thing about Upton park?
A. The seats face the pitch.

Q: What happens when the opposition cross the halfway line at Upton park?
A: They score

Q: How do you make a Hammers fan run?
A: Build a job centre. Read the full post

Q. What’s the difference between a Leeds fan and a coconut?
A. One’s thick and hairy, and the other’s a tropical fruit.

Q: What’s the difference between a Pyromaniac and Leeds football club?
A: A Pyromaniac wouldn’t throw away all his matches!

Q: What has 70,000 arms and an IQ of 170
A: Elland road every other Saturday.

Q: Why do people take an instant dislike to anyone from Leeds?
A: It saves time Read the full post

Q: Why did God make Arsenal supporters smelly?
A: So blind people could laugh at them too!

Two men are fishing on a river bank in a remote area of the River Thames on a Saturday afternoon miles away from any radio or tv.

Suddenly one man turns to the other and says “The Gunners have lost again.”
The other man was flabbergasted and said “how in the name of god do you know that?”
The other man replied “It’s quarter to five.” Read the full post

Q: What do you get when you cross a Chelsea Fan with a pig?
A: I don’t know, there are some things a pig just won’t do.

Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon?
A: A Problem.

Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon?
A: An even bigger problem.

Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon?
A: Problem solved Read the full post

We all like a few Tottenham jokes now and again, and I have discovered a few really good ones. This first one really tickled my fancy and persuaded me to find some more to follow it up.

Enjoy!
———————————————————————–

Q: How many Tottenham fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None…… there all content with living in the shadows!
——————————————————————————-

A man goes into a pub with an alligator under his arm. Read the full post

After Englands disastrous showing at the World Cup in the “lucky” red shirts, the FA have decided to reintroduce the famous white England shirt and unveil the three new sponsors which will take England through to the finals of the European Championships in 2012.

This is obviously exactly the sponsors that England deserve after South Africa!

No-one likes to see such a great club like Liverpool down and out, and fighting for a place in the Europa League next season (Well maybe a few Everton and Man Utd supporters do!) So obviously we don’t like to see Rafael Benitez in such a bad state, and we won’t be taking advantage of their situation, will we? OH YES WE WILL!

Have a few very funny Liverpool jokes, and try not to laugh too much LOL!

————————————————————————————- Read the full post