Anti-Chelsea Football jokes
How do you define 144 Chelsea fans
A: Gross Stupidity
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Q: Why did Chelsea go on the stock exchange?
A: To prove that crap can float.
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Q: What is the difference between Drogba and a mini?
A: A mini can only carry three passengers.
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Q. Why do Chelsea fans whistle whilst sitting on the toilet?
A. So they know which end to wipe!
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I’ve heard that Stamford Bridge has arguably the best pitch in the Premiership. Well, not entirely surprising considering all the poo that has been on there.
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Q: What’s the difference between a Chelsea supporter and an Onion?
A: No one cries when you chop up a Chelsea fan!
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Q: What do Chelsea keepers and singer Michael Jackson both have in common?
A: Both wear gloves for no apparent reason.
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Q: What do you get when you cross a Chelsea Fan with a pig?
A: I don’t know, there are some things a pig just won’t do!
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Every time Big Roger attends a Chelsea game he books 2 seats.
One to sit in, the other to throw when the fighting starts.
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Two blokes were walking through a cemetery when they happened upon a tombstone that read:
“Here lies John Sweeney, a good man and a Chelsea fan.”
So, one of them asked the other: “When the hell did they start putting two people in one grave?”
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Q. Two Chelsea fans jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground first?.
A. Who gives a fuck!
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Have you heard the news that Chelsea FC are getting a new sponsor? It is going to be Viagra, It’s the only way they can get past a semi.
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How do u confuse a chelsea fan?
Take him to london and then ask him for directions!
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A man and his son were at the breakfast table when the father spots something in the paper.
“Van Gough sold for £8 million”, he says shaking his head.
“Is he worth it dad?”
Impressed that his boy is taking an interest in fine art, the father says, “I suppose so son. Why do you ask?”
“Well it’s just that Mourinho paid more than that for Andrei Shevchenko – and he was shit”.
