Just Jokes Online

Playing Possum
Why are Arsenal like a possum?

Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

On the Bright Side
What do you call a Arsenal fan with half a brain?

Gifted!

What is the difference between Arsenal and a cup of tea?
The tea stays in the cup longer!

What do you call an Arsenal fan in a suit?
The accused.

What do you call 100 Arsnal supporters at the bottom of a cliff?
A good start! Read the full post

What do you get if you see a Arsene Wenger buried up to his neck in sand?

More sand!

The Seven Dwarfs were marching through the forest one day they fell in a deep, dark ravine. Snow White, who was following along, peered over the edge of the steep chasm and called out to the fallen dwarfs. From the depths of the dark hole a voice returned, “Arsenals are going to win the premier league.”

Snow White thought to herself, “Thank God… at least Dopey’s survived!”

According to a news report, a certain private school in Hertfordshire was recently faced with an unusual problem. A number of the girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on inthe bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back. Read the full post

A woman taking golf lessons just started her 1st round but was stung by a bee!

She raced to the clubhouse and her golfing coach asked why she was back so soon. She told him of the sting.

“Where did it sting you?” he asked.

“Between the 1st and 2nd hole” she replied.

He nodded and said. “Then your feet are too far apart!”.

A Liverpool fan & a Man Utd fan were driving & crash head on into each other.

Neither are seriously hurt but both cars are written off. In celebration of their luck they agree to put their differences aside from that moment on.

So the Man Utd fan goes to the boot of his car & fetches a 12yr old bottle of Malt Whisky and hands it to the Liverpool fan. “May all Scousers & Mancs live together in peace & harmony” says the Liverpool fan & gulps down half the bottle. Read the full post

The Seven Dwarfs were marching through the forest one day and there was a lanslide and they fell in a deep, dark ravine.

Snow White, who was following along, peered over the edge of the steep chasm and called out to the fallen dwarfs. From the depths of the dark hole a voice returned, “Arsenal’s Gonna Win The League! Arsenal’s Gonna Win The League!”

Snow White thought to herself, “Thank God… at least Dopey’s survived!”

There was a man that was sick he went to the doctor and said “Doctor, I have a fever!”

The doctor said “you will have to take 4 spoons of the medicine”

The sick one said ” but doctor, I only have only got 3 spoons what shall i do?”

Q)What does a Tampon, a Maxie pad, and Saddam hosain all have in common?
A)They all Irratate Bush.

Q)Whats warm and soft, when you go to bed, and hard, and stiff in the morning
A)Vomit

Q)Why do women have foreheads?
A)So men have a place to kiss them after a Blowjob

Q)What kind of file do you use to make a small hole larger
A)A Pedophile Read the full post

“Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel shamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, “It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.” Read the full post